Neither First Nor Last
by ficaddict42
Summary: Jess leaves for CA, and Rory reflects, along with some parental guidance from Lorelai.


Neither Last Nor First

Summary: Jess leaves for CA, and Rory reflects, along with some parental guidance from Lorelai.

Spoilers: Um, Jess leaving would be the obvious. 

Disclaimer: Not mine. 

  


"He is neither last nor first: this is what I know." -Dorothy Parker, _Somebody's Song_

  


A rectangular package slid onto the worn planks of the bridge. Without looking for its origin Jess picked up the package and slowly turned it over in his hands, seeming to examine closely its Sunday comics wrapping. He flipped it again, and once more, continuing his methodical study until eventually the silence became too much. 

"Gee, what could it be?" he said quietly, as if speaking only to himself. "It's something for my car isn't it? Fuzzy dice? You shouldn't have."

"Actually it's the limited edition Justin Timberlake bobble head for your dashboard that you've been dying to have. I had a few heated moments on E-bay there, but in the end victory was mine." Rory also spoke lightly and quietly, but there was a somber cloud in the air.

"Ever since he broke up with Britney, I've had hope again," Jess replied in a mocking tone, with only the slightest hint of a pause at the words "broke up." 

Rory was silent. Finally at length she said, "Do I have to open it for you?"

"Oh, it was meant to be opened? Now I get it." Jess tore at the newspaper. "Wow. A book. _A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius_. Somebody's modest."

"No, it's great. He's so self-aware, he's aware that he's self-aware. Everything that you could criticize the book for he warns you of ahead of time in the introduction. He's a smartass and he tries to avoid being emotional with jokes and rambling which in the end makes it more emotional than anything Oprah ever told you to read. His parents die and he takes care of his little brother and they go to California and he starts a magazine and auditions for the _Real_–"

As Rory seemed to be continuing forever and not meeting his gaze all the while, Jess leaned in and kissed her suddenly. The kiss began with force but the emotion was almost too much, each knowing that if they continued they wouldn't be able to go through with the necessary parting. 

"I couldn't let you ruin the plot," Jess said. 

Rory smiled sadly, looking down at her feet hanging off the bridge. "Jess, I–"

"Don't Rory. Don't– I gotta do this."

"I was going to say that I understand."

"Oh."

They sat in silence for some time, listening to the sounds of summer. The night was clear and the recent rain had made the sky clean so that the stars shined brighter, as if more near. Rory leaned back, lying down on the bridge with her legs still dangling. As she looked up above them, she began softly.

"When I was little my mother and I would sit outside in the summer and listen to parties at the inn. But I liked it best when it was like tonight, when the noises of summer hum and chirp and sing all around. I actually believed the stars were singing to me and of course my mother never said anything to contradict me. I was so disappointed when I read in a book that crickets and cicadas and frogs were the source of my music. I don't even like insects, or amphibians. It kind of ruined it for me after that. Only every once in a while, when the night is just right and the stars seem so near, can I be six again and believe the stars are singing just for me."

"Well, if they sang for anyone, it would be you."

They lapsed into companionable silence, reclining side by side for minutes, possibly hours. Time seemed no longer important. It had been too important for too long. Now that it was beyond their control and their diverging paths were set in motion, time could finally slip into the background. 

They were still in the same positions when the birds began to sound and the frogs were quiet. The sky was no longer clear, but light grey, like clean newsprint. Jess awoke with a start, turned his head slowly due to the crook in his neck, and looked beside him. Rory was still there, wide awake, still looking at the sky.

"Rory! Have you been awake all this time? You should have woken me up, gone home. I didn't want to get you in trouble, even for old time's sake."

"The bus to the airport leaves in 45 minutes," Rory said blankly. "You did pack, didn't you?"

"You must need coffee if you don't remember several days ago when you made me pre- and post- packing checklists and alphabetized my CD box and my book box." Jess stood up and offered Rory his hand. "Come on, walk with me to the diner." He pulled her to her feet. 

Jess used his key to open the diner; it was too early even for Luke. As he stepped inside Rory paused in the doorway. 

"I'll wait out here, okay?"

"What is it with you and the outdoors all of a sudden?" Jess asked.

"Well, I've been way behind with my wilderness skills," Rory replied. 

"Okay. Girl Scout coffee coming up in a few."

When Jess emerged with Rory's coffee she was standing there with wide tired eyes. As he handed it to her she just looked at him, frozen. Suddenly she tightened her grip on her cup, and a mix of emotions passed over her face. She threw her arms around his neck, gripped him tightly, whispered, "Miss you," in his ear, and released him abruptly. Without another look she turned and ran away.

  



End file.
